I've never been to Egypt, but I have big plans for 2014: leaving Egypt for good, because I'm going to enter the Promised Land.
During the ZeoGen Crossover Camp that just ended today/yesterday (1 Jan), Pastor Mel spoke about "Zeal for God" on Day 2 of the camp (31 Dec), relating her message to the story of the Israelites. Moses had led the Israelites out of Egypt and into the wilderness towards the Promised Land; then, they needed only 11 days to cross the wilderness, but instead took 40 years, because they didn't trust in God and complained about anything and everything. Even though they are no longer in Egypt, Egypt is still in their hearts; they simply couldn't let go of Egypt. "They said to Moses, “Was it because there were no graves in Egypt that you brought us to the desert to die? What have you done to us by bringing us out of Egypt? Didn’t we say to you in Egypt, ‘Leave us alone; let us serve the Egyptians’? It would have been better for us to serve the Egyptians than to die in the desert!” - Exodus 14:11-12.
With Egypt still in our hearts, we cannot enter the Promised Land.
We were praying and reflecting about the past year of 2013, the different times we held on to our Egypts and turned away from the wilderness and the Promised Land, and 2 periods of my life in 2013 struck me the hardest - the CT 1/studying period and the Promos/studying period. Both periods of time were difficult; both were periods of time where I find myself deep in the wilderness. But what made the difference was where I put my trust and my hope, where my heart was, and what I was holding on to. During the CT 1/studying period, I put my trust and my hope in God, I surrendered as best as I could to Him, committing my studies into His hands. I did my QT (almost?) every day, and fasted and prayed, joining the season of 40 days of prayer and fasting my church was participating in. I felt peaceful and calm enough because I knew that whatever happened, God has me in His hands, and I kept telling myself to "let not the things of this world ever sway me". On the other hand, during the Promos/studying period, I didn't spend much time with God, neglected my QT, and placed my trust and hope in myself, thinking to myself that I can do it - essentially all on my own strength. I remember making myself wake up early so that I'd have more time to study, but I did not set aside any of this extra time to spend time with God. I was turning back towards Egypt. Subconsciously, I didn't trust in God, I didn't want to let Him lead me, and most of all, I kind of just simply forgot that He was there. Both were difficult periods of time, but in the former, I was resting in His presence, while in the latter I was suffering.
As Pastor Mel prayed, I was praying in tongues, and I received a vision of Jesus crucified on the cross, and I was looking at this image from a top view (downwards). Then I saw many more of the same image of Jesus crucified on the cross, stacked up one on top of another vertically, forming a long column. I was looking downwards at this long column from atop the topmost cross, in a close-up view of it all. The revelation that came to me is that each cross symbolises each event in life, and during each event when I was in the wilderness, Jesus was with me. At each event, my sins are nailed to the cross, and Jesus' blood sets me free from each Egypt each bondage. At each point in time in the wilderness, Jesus is with me and I am victorious because of Him. To me, this vision is a prophetic vision, one where God has promised me that 2014 will have much difficult times, but 2014 will be a year of victory. The only way from here is up, just as how in the vision, the crosses are stacked upwards, towards the Promised Land (like in the chart that Pastor Mel asked us to draw), and each time we go up, we will go from glory to glory. God has promised good to me.
Yesterday (1 Jan) when I first woke, somehow the first thing I did was go to my phone, and I ended up checking for the daily verse in the YouVersion Bible App in my phone. The verse for 1 Jan is Isaiah 43:19 - "See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland." I knew it was from God because it confirms the the vision during Pastor Mel's session the day before, and also because I know that God has so neatly planned Pastor Mel's session and me seeing this verse at both the end of 2013 and 2014. It's like God arranged Pastor Mel's session so that I can reflect on and consolidate 2013 and understand some of my Egypts which I wasn't aware of, and God had arranged the verse at the start of the year (first thing in the morning) to tell me He is certainly up to something. I feel extremely blessed as a daughter of God because the verse is the first thing God has spoken to me about in 2014. I don't think I've ever felt so excited for a new year; it's going to be an extremely tough year especially with As. But God has promised good to me, and God never breaks His promises. He is moving, and no matter how deep the waters or savage the wilderness or simply how scary the circumstances, I will place my trust in Him for I know He is with me, and His presence is more than enough for me.
"I will walk through the fire with my head lifted high, and when the world caves in, still my hope will cling to Your promise; where my courage ends, let my heart find strength in Your presence."
